Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Sat is fact—Shun!

Past Customer Service = “Customer service is a series of activities designed to enhance the level of customer satisfaction – that is, the feeling that a product or service has met the customer expectation.”

Present Day Customer Service = Customer service is a series of activities designed to ignore and aggravate the customer – that is, if the customer requests assistance at a time deemed inappropriate such as personal conversations, lunch, lazy time or they just don’t feel like working.  

Over the past few years, I’ve come across this so-called thing called ‘customer service’ and I’m not really feeling it. ‘Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed”. Are they guaranteeing the customer’s satisfaction or their employee’s satisfaction in dissing the customer? The lack of caring exudes from these individuals, and it seems they traded in their smile for an un-lubricated butt plug because, let’s face it, that would make anyone disregard the needs of others.

I’ll admit that I worked in customer service and I wasn’t always the most…understanding individual. Maybe it’s payback time. But in my defense, I worked in technology and they refused to provide V2 –valium and vodka. When it comes to technology, there are certain things IT employees expect of people who work on computers every day of the year to know, like:

1)  Where the power button is located
2)  If you print something and it doesn’t print, don’t print 20 more times hoping one of them will get passed the black hole.
3)  If you receive a black screen that says keyboard failure, check the keyboard to make sure there aren’t any muffin crumbs, nail clippings or sunflower seeds stuck between the keys.
4)  Copy and paste—two things we learned in kindergarten—same idea, different technique.
5)  When tech support comes to your desk, be there to explain the problem and enter in your logon and password.
I understand that working in customer service is frustrating, but it’s amazing how indifferent and acceptable it is to outright act as if the customer isn’t even there. At least I gave employees a moment to explain their problem before directly or indirectly pointing out their faux pas. Like when one employee I worked with insisted her CD-ROM drive was broken—it wouldn’t play her CD. I popped open the CD player, flipped the CD right side up and the CD worked without a problem. Or when we were working in Windows 95 and an employee asked for assistance. I stood behind her and told her to go to my computer and she got up and started walking away. Dumbfounded, I asked her where she was going, and she said, “To your computer.” I had to point out the “My Computer” icon on her desktop. So you see, I understand the kind of frustration that comes along with helping some people.

But I don’t understand the girl, who saw me standing at the counter but turned her back and continued a personal conversation about her license being taking away. And then when I told her my sunglasses were right on the counter and I’d like to know what I owe so I could leave, shuffled over, shrugged and said, “I don’t know.” My response was, “Well, how about asking someone who does know.” She didn’t even notice the sarcasm…or maybe she did and ignored it. Either way, she took her sweet time walking the sunglasses over to another woman and asking.

For now on, when I come across anyone at a place of business who has an attitude or just doesn't care, I’m going to smile and say, “I can tell you really like your job” just to see their reaction. I might have to tweak it as time goes on.

Anyone else have witty responses to poor customer service?

Service and Attitude,
Bea

Friday, June 29, 2012

Pole Dancin, so Misunderstood, Yeah!


The other day I was talking to a friend about pole dancing because I took a class a few years back. It was fun. I joined to get in shape and feel sensual. After the experience…well, I’ll leave it to you to assume what happened to my pole dancin’ calling.

For about the first half of the pole dancing class, we stretched and then the teacher put on music for us to walk around the room to get our sexay on. This was the tough part. Getting in your zone…feeling the music…letting it move your body. I laughed and looked at the others…then I’d get mad because they got in the zone while I was laughing. So my right leg would take a lazy, drunk step forward while I swung my hips to the right, and then my left leg would stagger forward for a left hip swing. I let the lids of my eyes sink halfway down so I couldn’t see anyone else and try to keep the zone going. I walked and walked, swinging from side to side, my body feeling the groove.

After we brought sexy back, there were two cushioned stages with a pole in the middle of them. We each took turns going up there. The first pole dancing step was to walk around the pole with our right hand on the top of it, lean out with our legs angled toward the pole, and swing around it. Good! I swung around the pole feeling strong and sexy.  I wanted to shout, “Bring it on!” We did this a few times until everyone felt comfortable with it.

Then the instructor was about to show us the next step. My body was screaming ‘sexy’ inside and I couldn’t wait to feel the pole again. With the instructor’s right arm at the top of the pole, her left hand underneath overlapping the right, she lifted and bent her legs behind her, turning, drifting beautifully down the pole until she so eloquently made it to the mat with her legs flared behind. The strength…the beauty…the “I so can do that” feeling made me want to be one of the first people in line. I hopped up on the mat, grabbed the pole, walked around it a few times, getting in the mood, placed my hands as shown by the instructor, lifted my legs—damp palms screeched down the pole and boom, straight to the mat. I thought, “Seriously?! Get your fat butt up there and spin. Prove you brought sexy back!” This time, I grabbed the pole with a vice grip, lifted my legs up and nothing. I wasn’t spinning, nor did I fall straight to the mat. I just hung on the bar, like a drunken starlet has-been. I couldn’t nor wouldn’t do it again. Too many sets of eyes watched me as I threw away my sexiness.

So now, the only pole dancing I’ll be doing is this one.



Pole Dancing and Giving Sexy Back,
Bea

Sunday, June 24, 2012

My Bottle Tree

My Bottle Tree

razzle, dazzle me, bottle tree
captivate me, like the humming bee

your colors reflect off the mornin’ dew
one vying to be noticed, a deep, steel blue

suffer in silence, if a bottle breaks
the stillness, my heart, my body aches

those copper stems, stretch far and wide
large and small bottles held side by side

may they capture the evil spirits that roam
keep them away from my blissful home

Bottle trees and gardens,
Bea

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I’ve Got the Style Like Chuckie

Summer is here, I’m working on my new WIP and as I was going through my bookmarked creative websites, I came across this one called “I Write Like”. If you copy and paste a writing sample of your work, it analyzes the style and compares it to a famous writer. Of course it’s just for fun. The one thing I noticed is I needed to use more than one paragraph to get a good comparison, so I put in an entire page of my books. What’s interesting is that I write like a few authors, and on top of that, there’s a connection between the two of them.

I plugged in the first chapter of my dark, psychological suspense Net Switch, and it seems my writing is comparable to

I write like
Bram Stoker
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!


When I plugged in the first page of my new novel, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sarcasm (working title), it states that I write like

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!


For those who don’t know, Bram Stoker is known for his 1897 novel Dracula, and Chuck Palahniuk is known for his 1996 novel Fight Club. I don’t know much about either one of these authors. Horror isn’t my genre, so I never read Dracula. I’ve also never read a story by Chuck Palahniuk. I find it intriguing that my writing style (yes it’s just for fun) is comparable to two authors I haven't read and a genre I don’t write in.

I went online to see if there are any similarities between Stoker and Palahniuk. It seems there is a Bram Stoker Award given for excellent achievement in horror writing. Chuck Palahniuk was nominated twice for this award—the first for Lullaby in 2002 and then Haunted in 2005.

Even though I did this only for entertainment value, I learned a little about the writers I Write Like.

Who do you write like?

Style and Fame,
Bea