The Dance

Picture from Life - Time Inc

Shy approach, ask to dance,

Watched awhile, took a chance.

Cautious step, reach your goal

Adrenaline, does its role.

Accepts offer, with a smile,

No more thoughts, of denial.

Guides to floor, an endless walk

Newfound hope, can’t wait to talk.

Steps into place, an easy pace,

Thanking God, didn’t fall on face.

Sways to rhythm, using hips

Conversation, takes to lips.

Boarding For The Future

What’s for the future? *looks lost in thought as my finger lightly taps my chin* I took the Illinois Licensing Test last month, which is part of the requirements to teach in Illinois. Today I received the unofficial test scores and I passed. *pats forehead with a napkin* For me, the test was tough after not being in school for many years or doing these things, comprehension, grammar, math and written on a daily basis. But I passed.

Tomorrow, I have a real estate agent coming over for me to sign papers to put my condo on the market. Condo real estate isn’t good, but I figured it can’t hurt. Who knows, maybe someone is in the process of relocating to Chicago, or looking for a cozy one bedroom condo on the Southside and might want it. I’m not pressured to sell, and it’s another step towards what I want for the future.

I will have a house guest for the next few weeks, and I’m very excited about it. I’ll be taking time off of work to show them Chicago, so it will be a little mini-vacation for me too. I’m just hoping the snow and extreme cold will stay away for us to enjoy the things we have planned. I’ll probably neglect my blog too, but I'll try not to.

How about you? Are you boarding anything for the future? New plans or something you’re looking forward to?

If They Could Talk...

I wrote this short some time back from a writing prompt. Let me know what you think, or share a moment of when your tears helped you out.

_________________________

Life teaches us lessons throughout our journey from infancy to adulthood, and some lessons stick with us forever.

#

I told you I don’t like you coming around in front of people. It’s embarrassing and you have no right to go against my wishes. We’ve fought about this issue many times and if you must continue at least wait until I get home. In my life, I’ve asked for few things, but this is one I demand.

My dear, there’s no harm in crying they show you’re human, but I already knew that. It’s the rest of the world you close off to pretending to be something you’re really not. You have a strong façade, but a soft heart that melts your core.

Shout at the top of your lungs, let your emotions show through smeared mascara, a red nose and blotched skin. It’s a part of getting to the end, so stumbling and crying over losses and wants helps you recover and carry on.

At birth, your bellow rattled the instruments in the ER causing the nurses to smirk at your entrance. You might have been small, but your lungs and face weren’t strangers to crying when wanting your way. As an infant, you spent majority of the time calling upon us with a scrunched reddened face insisting on being fed, changed or just to let everyone know you were tired.

When you were seven years old, you fractured your foot and cried from the pain. They knew something happened because of your reaction. If we weren’t there for you, your family might have ignored it thinking it was just a sprain. We helped get their attention for a cast with well wishes from friends and family to cover your leg.

Then in high school, the solitude started and you hid your feelings in the darkness of your room. Only a week after your sweet sixteen did you ask us to help you out when you almost experienced rape. Your friends crowded around listening to what happened the night before when you got away from a guy who took advantage of your drunken state. With our presence, your friends felt your pain and fear, which ultimately helped them in the future. They thought about that night when they came across a similar situation where their own actions were questioned.

What stopped you completely was the loss of your friend. We flowed and flowed and wouldn’t stop until we made your eyes swell into slits. You cried daily and everywhere until we left you alone. At that point, you became hollow dismissing us with pain and happiness. And when we did decide to come around you sought shelter to avoid being seen.

For years you fought us and demanded our secrecy, but as time does with everything else, it helped you overcome the mindset of ‘crying is a sign of weakness.’ You started inviting us for joyous moments, along with heartbreak until you listened to us and learned that we needed one another.

##

This is what my tears told me, and I’ve listened to them ever since.

Some Days We Are Reminded of Our Age

My niece turned 18-years old today, and although it’s been wonderful watching her grow into a young woman it’s also taken a toll on my mind and body. All right, I can’t blame her for the condition I’m in, but it does remind me of my age and of the past.

I thought back on when I was 18-years old at this time of year and what I was doing recalling it as being a confusing time in my life. Even though I attended the community college, the decision of what I wanted to do with my life, or where I wanted to be haunted me. At eighteen, teenage years still clung to me while adulthood loomed overhead forming a dark cloud that matched my mood. I met many guys and began partying more to the point of neglecting my studies and job. It was easy to forget about my troubles after slugging down a few beers.

During that year, another difficult thing to deal with was my boyfriend, my first love, left for college while I stayed behind figuring out what to do and worrying about what he was up to. This was before the cell phone frenzy and GPS systems. I remember crying on the phone when I did get to talk to him, and the few times I made the trip to see him. It was a vulnerable time, and during that vulnerable year, I lost my first love to another woman and my cousin to death.

Now, 23-years later I think about the things I’ve accomplished, things I learned and the happiness and heartache I experienced. I can say I’m satisfied. It took many lessons for me to learn and plenty of falls to finally stand up straight. I have a great paying job, but my future is set to change. Within the next year, I hope to have a new job, a new home and settle in with the man I love. Through my life, the one thing I learned about is ‘real love.’ It may have taken me 41-years to find it, but it was worth the lesson and wait.

Today, I hope my niece gets the pleasure of experiencing happiness along with heartache and that she learns from both. I pray her life is full of wonder, and the next one is always right around the corner. Someday I hope she remembers the times I corrected or lectured her about something, and that my words turned out to be true. I pray safety follows her wherever she goes, and continues to grow as the beautiful woman she already is. And most of all, I hope her travels are fulfilling, her heart open to new things, and she always remembers the importance of family.

Happy Birthday, Nays! Who loves you? Who will always love you? Who will love you whether you do right or wrong? Yes, the answer is me.