25 Days of Christmas

On

the first

day of Christmas

we had plenty of snow

Santa must have confused it

for mistletoe. On the second day of

Christmas I bought some eggnog. It had

plenty of Brandy, so I decided to blog. On the

third day of Christmas sent out holiday cheer. I didn't

know the picture exposed my derriere. On the fourth day of

Christmas my place was decorated but I fell on Frosty feeling a

bit violated. On the fifth day of Christmas I wrote my wish list hoping

more than ever to finally be kissed. On the sixth day of Christmas went to

my friend's house stood under

the mistletoe with her spouse.

On the seventh

day of Christmas my grocery

store ran out of brie, which I planned

to eat while playing my Wii. On the eighth

day of Christmas I got my hair done she

apologized for making me look like

a nun. On the ninth

day of Christmas I had a colonoscopy. The

procedure wasn't fun, but the drugs made me feel free.

On the tenth day of Christmas the carolers came around singing

as well as Brutus, my hound. On the eleventh day of Christmas I bought

a chocolate chip cookie. Later on that night, my lover wanted some nookie. On the twelfth day of Christmas I went out to plow. The snow was much higher than the Dow. On the thirteenth day of Christmas I received a card from my mother. She revealed a secret that I had another brother. On the fourteenth day of Christmas I cooked Cornish Hen. I couldn't
finish eating them because of too much cayenne. On the fifteenth
day of Christmas my ceiling started to leak. The guy who
came to look at it was a little geek.

On the sixteenth day of Christmas I went sledding. Halfway down my fur gloves started shedding. On the seventeenth day of Christmas my work had a food fest. I ate too much now I'm unable to digest. On the eighteenth day of Christmas my family created drama. I ignored the calls and made a Bahama Mama.On the nineteenth day of Christmas the lights died out. I tried to fix them, but my feet hurt from gout. On the twentieth day of Christmas I watched a flick about a man who falls in love with some chick. On the twenty-first day of Christmas it was cold so I stayed in. I poured a few glasses of tonic and gin. On the twenty-second day of Christmas I did some shopping. I ran out of money, so had to do the mopping. On the twenty-third day of Christmas I wrapped some presents to be ready for tomorrow's events. On the twenty-fourth day of Christmas I made dinner. It definitely won't make me look thinner. On the twenty-fifth day of Christmas my family and I spent together, and it didn't matter how bad the weather.