Saturday, February 27, 2010

Waiting for an Answer

What’s in a name when you shine right through? I see you staring at me attempting to look into my soul wondering who I am, or what I’m all about. I wonder the same about you. Lush words you leave here make me fantasize about your looks, smell and life. The only thing keeping us apart is a screen we stare at conjuring up our images. Maybe our lives are better behind a screen with images formed by pieces of our lives we’re willing to share.

But you… you always come back to me. To leave a note letting me know you’re still around, still listening to my thoughts and words reaching out to all, but mainly you. Our virtual flirting leaves us feeling special. Sometimes our reality is darker and colder than the virtual life we lead.

Even though I can’t feel your hand, I know it’s extended towards me, and if I could I’d take it in mine. I’d lead you into my life and introduce you to my characters. We’d sit and talk for hours about where we came from and how we got to this moment. Our hands would occasionally mesh for verification while examining our eyes. It’s the depth we want, to reach what no one has seen, but we both know that will never happen. Inflated pride over the years prevents such openness, yet we yearn for that kind of freedom.

I reach for your cheek stroking it softly as the lines iron out. Your smile asks me to dance; our lips rest a breath apart, waiting to perform our rendition of a tango. We look at one another knowing this isn’t the true person we created in our minds; fragments of a sentence that ends with a question mark. Should such a fragment linger to change chance when closure doesn’t exist?

My eyes close waiting for the answer. Finally I open them, you’re…

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Favorite Song of the Moment

We’ve all had those songs where we hear it and get immediately hooked.  A song listened to over and over singing it at the top of our lungs while dancing around the living room.  The lyrics stay with you while you recite them in your sleep exhausted and bored after months of focusing your love on that particular song.  

At the moment, that song for me is “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train.  The beat is kick butt and the lyrics are so inventive and warm.  It’s the kind of song that makes me want to get up and dance around, a feel good song.  And they're not bad on the eyes either.  *winks*  What’s your favorite song of the moment, and why?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Time to Repent

I’m not a practicing Catholic, but I’m a believer. One practice I have continued on with is receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday. It’s the beginning of the Lent Season and an opportunity to make positive changes in my life. For those unfamiliar with Lent, for 40 days you give up something, make a sacrifice, whether it’s quit drinking pop, quit smoking, or not eating meat, etc. At this moment I haven’t given anything up yet. I quit smoking almost 2 years ago, I don’t drink pop and I’ve been eating healthy since the beginning of this year, so I think my focus should be on improvements.

Early this morning, I went to St. Peter’s Church in downtown Chicago. Since it was early, there wasn’t much of a line to receive ashes, so I approached a priest, smiled and knelt down. He dug his thumb into the ashes, pressing on and down my forehead while saying, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." Then digging his thumb again into the ashes, he pressed and swipe across saying, "Turn away from sin, and be faithful to the Gospel." When I got to work and saw myself in the mirror, it looked like I got in a fight with an ashtray and lost. Ashes sprinkled my nose and cheeks with a high concentration on my forehead. I’m guessing the priest; 1) detected my sinful ways; 2) had a bet with another priest on how dark they could make the cross; or 3) knew I hadn’t given anything up yet for Lent.

Today, I shall start the Lenten season by not criticizing, especially the priest who felt the need to clean his thumb off on my forehead. I also hope to minimize my complaints and judgments of others.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine Song for the Lovers and Haters!

At Last by Etta James
At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
At last

At Last by Bea Sempere

At last, the jerk has finally gone
My attached days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The bed has been replaced
My house became mine at closing
The night I kicked you out
I found the strength to ask you to leave
A strength that I can call my own
I found a thrill to change all the locks
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you cried, you cried
Oh, and then the time had come
And here I am in heaven
For you are gone
At last

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Valentines with the ones you love.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Mysterious Attraction!

We all seem to be attracted to the mysterious and seductive, which I think is why we are attracted to vampires.  Ever since I was young, I didn’t like the blood and guts of horror, but vampires intrigued me with their mysterious ambiance, sexual tension and the want to be the object of desire. We affiliate darkness with mystery, a reason I probably find myself attracted to vampires and dark-haired men.  To me, I don’t want someone written before me, I’d like to read and research about them as time goes on.

When I was 19-years old, I saw The Lost Boys three times at the movie theatres.  I couldn’t take my eyes off Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland.  They were bad boys, and at the time, I was dating a rebellious bad boy myself.  Majority of the bad boys in this movie possess a sexual appeal, a mystery that vampires embody.   Another movie I love is Underworld about the conflicts between vampires and the licans (werewolves).

I’m not one to read about vampires, it isn’t a genre I like, but to watch them is alluring.  So it isn’t a surprise that last week I started watching the series The Vampire Diaries.  The men are dark and sexy, along with an exciting storyline.  For all of you who don’t like Damon, pfftt… I’ll take him because he is one sexy man.  I’ve been out of the loop as to what’s on television, the popular books and top movies, so this post is probably coming way too late.  But if you haven’t heard about The Vampire Diaries and you like vampires then I suggest you watch this series.

Do you read or watch vampires?  What do you think about them?  Is the popular appeal for vampires about the mystery and seductiveness?  I’d like to hear what you think. 

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Thank You, Danse Macabre!

All writers receive rejections and get discouraged, so I’m no different when the rejections start coming back.  My attempts with poetry started in 2008 to test the waters for talent and see if I could follow in my great grandfathers footsteps- Baltrus Sidiskis, a published poet.  (I was going to post one of his poems, but it’s in Lithuanian and I wouldn’t be able to capture the essence of it.)  Towards the end of last year I began submitting my poems to literary magazines. 

After plenty of rejections, Danse Macabre, found something in my poetry and published a few in their February “Kismet” issue.  For personal reasons, it’s poetic to have my debut poems in an edition meaning fate and fortune. Furthermore, a very sweet friend of mine emailed me to let me know “La fortuna di poesia” means “Luck Poetry” in Italian.  The magazine will also be publishing another one of my poems in their April issue.  I am very excited about my poetry getting out there and want to thank Danse Macabre for giving me the opportunity to be a published poet.

Also, a thanks goes out to my long distance buddy, Aunty Bug for posting about my poetry.  Much appreciated friend, but I have to add that not only did we meet in DC & Chicago, but Michigan too.  We just might conquer all the states by retirement.
Have a great Sunday everyone! 


On another note, I did a Google search for B. Sidiskis and found an article write up from 1926 about my grandmother, Genevieve Sidiskis (Gettling) Giedraitis.  Now that’s a name!  This is one beauty about the internet.  It’s wonderful to be able to find an article about my grandmother from 80-years ago.  At the time of this article, my grandmother was 16-years old.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Magnificent Stroke of Talent!

Norman Rockwell was an artist of extraordinary measure who captured the essence of American life. His illustrations for The Saturday Evening Post, amongst other magazines gave a depiction of true American spirit, and planted smiles on faces as they viewed paintings of everyday life. Through things people could relate to, experienced, war, and politics, Mr. Rockwell drew every detail and applied strokes of color for all of us to appreciate.

Granted, he retired from the Saturday Evening Post before I was born, but my childhood still experienced his emotional paintings. He not only painted for himself, but the people too. The American people were his inspiration and audience.

One of my bucket list items is to visit the
Norman Rockwell Museum, and to buy one of his paintings when I buy a house. My heart melts when I see one of his paintings feeling a sense of home and family values. Maybe it's the safety and contentment I love about them.

Some of my favorites:

“Girl at the Mirror,” because it truly depicts how women view and critique themselves. How we find the flaws that tend to make us overlook the beauty.
“High Dive,” because it’s cute and illustrates the fear I have for sharing my writing. “Alone for Christmas” for personal reasons.

“Santa,” because Christmas is my favorite holiday.

“Sunset,’ because I remember this one from childhood.

“Homecoming G.I.,” because it depicts so much from a mother being overjoyed, to a woman who waited for this day, and how life went on yet waited for the soldier.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Rockwell! Thank you for sharing your talent with the world and that the emotional connection still breathes within us.

What are your feelings towards Norman Rockwell’s paintings and do you have a favorite? Which one, and why?